Sunday, September 18, 2005

Bring on the Meyhem

Went to the last Art on the Rocks event of the year. I'd link it for you but I cannot remember my html.
Anyway, night out with the boys.
Art on the Rocks is a classy event. Therefore it is full of chicks who went shopping for the event. Dressed to the nine. Hair in perfection.
Started the evening off right. Knocked down about 3 bourbon and cokes before I left. My buddy Rick had a drink. Justin helped himself to a beer or three.
Raymond had a shot. Everyone was good.
We get there. I'm blitzed. Eat something. Smile at some girls. Don't talk to them. Then you just look stupid.
So, things were fun. Talked to some girl from Norway. She is a Psychologist. Thomas liked her. They talked about thier fiance's. I just sat back and enjoyed the views.
Missed the best part of the evening.
The title of this is Meyhem, if you recall.
Rick, apparently had about seven shots before he got to my place. Seven.
Yes, seven. And a mixed drink.
Then he had beers at the event.
Did I mention seven shots?
Best explanation for his performance?
Justin said, "it was like watching a guy fall on a rusty sword....over and over and over again."
I cannot possibly describe for you his behavior on paper and give it justice. But i will do my best.
Imagine, if you will. A guy, barely able to stand. Drunk as a skunk and proud of it. He is fearless. When it comes to women, he holds nothing back.
So he busts out a couple of cookie cutters or something. One is a "T", the other a stegasaurus. He sees something else. He sees a penis and a bush. Following me?
"Hey ladies"
Look at these" I stole them. What are they? No, its a penis. Now look. The dinasaur is eating the penis "mwarrr, mwarrrggghh, marwerer." Those last bits are to suggest a monster eating.
"Look, the dinasaur is eating the penis."
This does not impress women at an art museum who went shopping last week specifically for this event.
So, Rick typically stayed a good, five, six minutes longer than he should have. Some of the times, the girls literally had to walk away from him!
But, did all of this rejection phase him? NO. NOt a chance.
He would literally get shot down, pivot on a heel, find a new target and move in. All in one continuous motion.
Marvelous. Lets fall on that sword one more time.
I like to picture a car wreck on an interstate that leads to a 50 car pileup. Only, it has to happen in slow motion, like, over the course of 20 minutes or so.
The worst part about it was, you couldn't like step in and be the good guy, and take advantage of his rediculous behavior. He was so wasted, he couldnt even get names. Let alone numbers.
The night continued like that. We hit a few bars. GOt REALLY drunk and somehow managed to get home before the sun came up.
I woke up at ten yesterday and started drinking by 11. What? Its football season.
I hooked up a second TV and we had three games going on at once! too bad i was so drunk i couldnt enjoy the games! oops.


Blogger Brillig said...

See? Isn't it better when you write like this?
That was a funny-ass blog post. I know you aren't trying to be funny all the time but for those of us who care about you it wierds us out to read some of the darker ones. I really liked the rusty sword analogy, superb.
Glad to hear you had a good time. This guy sounds like a trip when he is drunk but maybe someone should do the buddy thing next time and at least tell him he hooked up the day after...if he doesn't remember.

6:26 PM  
Blogger Brillig said...

Hey, It's Mark. I was messing around with my blog and decided to go ahead and change the URL. Its now . You may want to change the address on my link button for me. Sorry for the confusion.

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Blogger Brian said...

HAHHAHAA!! Good to hear about your experiences C!! =)

Sounds like you had some fun until the 57 car pile up on I-65 that took about 3 hours to happen.

Can't wait until i can head back up there to hang out with you and do another episode of De-Fi Radio!!

Love, cookies, and kitten hugs,

P.S. you may want to turn on nword verification for your comments to avoid all the comment spam above. =)

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